Beauty and the Beast...
by jewls
Summary: Outenkun's POV...His thoughts drift as he waits in the dark.....


** Author's notes: Ok. Please don't flame me for this one. . It was a fun idea at the time and you knew it was going to happen some day. An Outenkun x Youzen fic. Believe me, it's as scary as it sounds. e.e But this isn't yaoi, it's only implied shounen ai. And it seems to work from what a few people have already said. Anyway, enjoy!**  
  
  
Bastard. Everything is your fault, every tiny ounce of my suffering is to be blamed on you. You've taken everything from me, you've placed me here, you're the one who chose my destiny for me. You bastard! If it were you instead of me, maybe then I'd still be human. You were the one, you sentenced me to imprisionment in that cage, surrounded by those demons. Everything is your fault.  
  
Outenkun shifted in the darkness; leaning against a wall he sighed. There was a major battle coming up and he was prepared to fight for his revenge, he wanted to make sure he suffered as much and as painfully as he did.  
  
You think your so grand, with that paopei of yours. You've still got your humanity, moreso than I have. You weren't changed, you weren't sacrificed. You think your great, with that hair and those looks. Your nothing but a piece of shit. A beautiful piece of shit.  
  
Outenkun shifted again and raised a brow at himself in the dark void. What was he thinking? Why had he just called HIM of all people beautiful?  
  
I hate you. I hope you know that. One day, I'll tell you in the worst way possible. And you'll cry, I want to see you cry. That stern look of yours, those piercing eyes, I want to see them shed tears of anger, sadness, morose, and hatred. I want to taste my venegence. I want to rip that beautiful smile of yours off your face.   
  
Outenkun frowned. He was disgusted that he had come to relize how beautiful HE was. He growled silently, letting his envy seep into him slowly, mixing with an anger so great that the two feelings overcame he causing him to thrash out in the darkness and strike the wall next to him with his fist.  
  
If you hadn't of been switched for me, I'd be the beautiful one and you'd be the envious one. I'd still have some of my humanity, I'd never have gone through all that suffering! You'd be the one sitting here, alone in the dark, thinking of me. And how much you'd hate me. And you'd envy me, because I would be the beautiful one.   
  
Outenkun smirked at himself, sliding down against the wall until he was sitting on the floor with his thin arms and lanky legs stretched out. A single, fragile thumbnail found itself between his black, pierced lips. He chewed momentarily as his thoughts ran circles in his head.  
  
Damn you. I just want my humanity back, I want to be normal again. I didn't ask you to ruin my life and I sure as hell didn't ask to end up looking like this. If I were normal....If I were human again, maybe I'd have a chance. But not like this, not now, not with all this blood on my hands. You wouldn't even bother looking at me.  
  
Outenkun laid across the floor, chewing on that lone thumbnail, as he frowned again at himself. He silently cursed his enemy and in anger and frustration, he bit his lower lip until he bled. The blood smoothly flowed from his lip down his chin like a small stream. A bit of it found it's way into his mouth and he just silently ignored it.  
  
If I weren't like this.....perhaps I wouldn't be so lonely. I'm alone, again, in the darkness. And I'm thinking of you. How pathetic! It's your fault I'm here right now anyway, so why am I secretly haboring this feeling? This envy and anger, and this feeling. It's unknown to me, it's rather odd. And it pains me. I hate you for putting it there, placing that feeling in me. It's like a foreign object stuck inside me. I can't get rid of it, but need too. I have to, somehow.   
  
Outenkun bolted upright as a thought planted itself firmly into his head.  
  
It's your fault I feel this way, but it's your fault I can't act out on this feeling. Just like everything else, this too is your fault. You secured my role, my actions, my destiny. I can't do anything about this foreign feeling I have, I have to ignore it. I have no choice. I'm in no position to change sides, and I can't anyway. You'd have nothing to do with me. You stuck me here and I have no choice to play the part like some puppet. And your the one with the strings. Damn you. Everything is your fault, everything, Youzen.  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
